"I'm Aware"
Released July 19, 2013
Introducing "The Retrospective"
In the Spring of 2013, Clarissa Joan Middleton, Founder and Chief Creative Officer of The Being Academy, experienced the tragic loss of her first-born son, biological mother, and great-grandmother who raised her.
The death of Mrs. Joan's past, present, and seemingly future sparked her spiritual transcendence leading to the launch of her first online ministry platform.
“The Clarissa Joan Experience," was created “to inspire people to lead lives of peace, passion, and purpose,” through testimony and practical theology.
This July 2023, The Being Academy celebrates The Clarissa Joan Experience 10th Anniversary. In honor of the brave, vulnerable, and transformative work Mrs. Middleton laid as our foundation in the summer of 2013, we present “From The Archives: The Clarissa Joan Experience Retrospective.”
Each month, we will be releasing a CJE archival as a tribute to our origin story. We hope these articles inspire you to believe God’s promises for your future and to commune with God daily to experience them.
"I'm Aware"
I have no idea what I am doing.
This website is birthed truly out of my obedience to God's command that I share my story. This story is incomplete and it is one that even I do not fully grasp at times. All I can do is be honest about my experiences. What I know for sure is that some powerful force has kept me along the way. That in my darkest hours instead of turning away from God, I have been compelled to chase him even more. I hunger for God so much so that at times it pains me. However, my thirst for God far outweighs any despair I have ever encountered in my life. My story is inspiring and at times a turn off. My story can be a belly full of joy and simultaneously gut-wrenching painful. It is my hope that whoever reads my story will be inspired to know God, love God, and serve God.
I have fought for a long time to keep my silence about the woes and the wonders of my life. At times, I have even been ashamed to share my experiences with peers for fear that they will be overwhelmed. I have prayed to God many nights for the courage to answer his call. What really moved me to act was the death of my son, Joshua.
When I looked over the lifeless body of a precious little baby I carried for nine-months, I made a vow that our journey together would not be in vain. Though my son never took one breath of air on this earth, I promise that he breathes in me.
Every day that I live for the rest of my life, I will honor him. He took away my pain, so that I could have a second chance at serving The Lord and inspiring his people to do the same. The most important lesson I have learned to date is that God is salvation. Joshua taught me that.
I want to explore this lesson with others. So many people walk this earth hopeless. Many times we seek refuge and aid from others to find ourselves bitter when they fall short of our expectations. God told me to tell you that his love will suffice. You were made perfect in his light, and you matter no matter what the world says. No matter our situation, if we are breathing God has a purpose for our lives and he will never forsake us. No one can save you, but God. God is the giver of life. The quicker we learn to trust him and allow him to order our steps the sooner our lives will become whole.
For the past 4 years, I have felt worthless. I have had days where I dreamt of walking outside and being hit by a car. I've had moments when I wanted to physically wound myself to distract myself from the pain I felt within. I was unconsciously unconscious about the healing I needed from past traumas. I did not even I know I had experienced trauma, because I allowed so many other voices to dictate how I responded to the events of my life. This led me down a deep dark path of hopelessness. In the midst of it all, God kept me. I begin to draw closer to him more and more. I stepped away from the dogma of religion and I sought out The Lord for myself. The more I began to discover who I really was the more the enemy tried to destroy me. This last year the enemy tried to take me OUT! In the last few months alone, I lost two of the greatest loves of my life. I have witnessed the crumbling of pivotal pillars in my life. The structures of my existence as I've known it have all come crumbling down. There have been moments where I wanted to die, but I never gave up on God. The devil has tried to take me out, but I've lost too much not to persevere and see the Glory of God prevail in my circumstance.
The Clarissa Joan Experience is about finding God in all things and inspiring others to do the same. It is about accepting the truth of matters of the heart and using that truth for the glory of God. I am here to promote passion, purpose, peace, and prosperity for all believers, servants of The Lord, and citizens of his kingdom.
My mission is to share my life in relation to the application and practicality of God's word that I may inspire others to find the kingdom of God that dwells in us all. Walk with me! Clarissa Joan
Comments